The more I think about the last couple of weeks since Christmas the more I am accepting of things. I look at what I have now and what I had then and there is pretty much no difference at all. I don't see him now and I rarely saw him then. He made no attempt to give me time before. He gives me no time now. He told everyone else he saw that we were just friends and I misread signals, so that is the way I'm moving forward. Unfortunately it took me 6 years to get here.
Time to draw a line under the craziness.
Although damn the antidepressants, they have stopped me getting really, kicking butt angry. While they stop the low lows, they stop the other emotions too.
So, without having the past to talk about, I need to find something else to talk about. It's surprising how much he took up every fucking thought.
Andrew is doing really well, and has even started making music, I am excited to see what he has been making. I've bought my ticket to go and see him in April. I miss him very much.
And has soon as I get back from England, it will be time to get back in the trailer again. I really want to do some crafting, and I can't do the stuff I want while I am here. I think keeping myself super busy will really help with the loneliness. I would love to have somewhere I could decorate, the trailer does not really allow that. I think I need fairy lights.
And then, a friend is moving to the province right next to me, which will allow me to go and see her often. There are road trips in the future.
