Such a crossroads

The time has come to makes some serious life decisions and I really need a sounding board here.

So let's look at the options I have in front of me.

Andrew just left home and I've taken on some of his expenses, this has left me pretty tight for money. I have five or six options in front of me.

Stay in the house exactly as I am now.

Rent out the top floor of the house.

Rent out the bottom throughout the house.

Move to somewhere that is cheaper.

Live full-time in the trailer.

The spanner in the works here is that Greg has been suggesting I may take over his flat as he looks after his aging and ailing parents. As we know with Greg there are many words and very few action. I can't stay in the situation I am in now waiting for it to be the right time for him. There is never a right time. I could be in the same position this time next year that I am in now. It's not something I can base my future on.

Although with that possibility it just take out the option of letting the the rooms out. So this now leaves us with three options. Stay in the house, find somewhere cheaper, or live full-time in the trailer. With finances the way they ate, staying here doesn't sound viable either.

So that brings us down to finding somewhere cheaper or living full-time in the trailer.  The trailer option is terrifying though. It is such a big step, other people do it and people make a success of that.

It also gives me the option of living where I want when I'm not working. Should Greg decides that he wants me to take over his apartment I'm in a position to do that straightaway.  I know that it is the most viable way forward but I'm scared.

But it must be done.

I've been looking forward to living with Greg for so long and nothing ever, ever happens. I'm used to his promises leading to nothing. I can't hold out waiting for something that may never come. Life has to move forward.

I know I need to give my notice here and move on. I know I've so many places in mind of where I'd like to be on the days off.

What does Calgary hold for me. A community I am not a part of any more.  I have a huge desire to be active again, I'm in stasis where I am though. Nothing is moving. Nothing is developing. In order to grow I need to move. I've become stagnant.

Just talking this through with whoever might read this has helped. I think I know what I need to do now. And, as Dan Savage would say, need to grow a pair of ovaries and do it.

So much more sounding board is needed. Lots of discussion and planning and deciding what to do and where to go.